Monday, July 16, 2012

Homesick

I've been trying so hard to keep the big picture in mind and stay focused on only the good things, but if I'm being honest, moving to Memphis has been exhaustingly hard.  And to prevent myself from only painting the pretty picture of myself that I would like the world to see, I want to be real and honest. I want to speak what is on my heart and mind.

I miss everything: I miss home. I miss our church. Our friends. Our favorite restaurants and places and house and and and... I didn't know how much I would really miss them until we left. Each and every one of you are irreplaceable in my heart and it hurts to think of no longer "doing life together" with you all every day.

It has been even more increasingly hard to not yet have a church home here in Memphis.  It's draining and hard finding a new routine, new friends, new grocery store, new... everything. Slowly, Jon and I are making friends and finding our way around.  I even started a prayer group on Saturday mornings with some of the amazing wives who also have husbands in the program. More on that later.

Yesterday, we visited a small church plant here. It struck me as very peculiar that the pastor spoke on the same thing that one of my pastors from home did, on the same day. It both blessed me to go to a church that seems theologically on-point, and made me long for home.

Jon played some of yesterday's worship set from Redemption Hill for me last night.  I found myself singing along with joyful tears and realized that it was the first time that I really felt free to worship since moving here. I truly miss feeling the freedom to worship unabashedly with my family in Christ that I had grown to really deeply know. My heart is so thankful for being able to listen to recordings from Redemption Hill often, until we find a new church to call home.

Redemption Hill Church

So I guess for today, I'm just being honest as to where my heart is.  I know it will pass in time. Today, I am just simply homesick.


4 comments:

  1. Oh sweetie and RVA is definitely not the same without you guys...I'll be praying for you and jon that you guys find a community where you feel at home!

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  2. Oh Amanda, I started crying while I read this. I'm so sorry. I'll be praying for you and Jon. Do whatever you can to keep in touch with the people in RVA. I didn't do that very well and I wish I had. My heart goes out to you two. Stay strong.

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  3. <3 For my small part, I am indescribably blessed by your presence here in Memphis. You are helping make my transition easier, and Ryan and I are so thankful for you and Jon! Praying for you both. Glad to be doing this tough transition stuff together.

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  4. So sorry, friend! I felt the same way when we moved to St. Louis. It was SO painful and I just ached for our friends and church in VA. I can say from experience that it really does get better...it just takes time and some effort too. I'm proud of you for hanging in there and for starting a prayer group. I hope that you will come to feel Memphis the way I came to feel about STL. I ended up making some lifelong friends there and was crushed to leave them when we graduated.

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