Friday, February 15, 2013

Valentine Shmalentine

Valentine's Day has never been a huge deal for us. I enjoy doing something as long as it's together, but by no means do I need a fuss to be made. Things as of late have been extra crazytown around here. There just wasn't much of an option for grandeur or creativity yesterday. I am totally fine with that. We Tobins just laid low, and I used it as an excuse to bake sweet things and snuggle up to the man I love.

It was a beautiful contrast to the night before Valentine's Day, since we had just had a fight. One of those loud ones with voices raised and flustered pacing. We both took swings with our words and felt terrible about it. I was offended and hurt, I didn't want to be nice or reconcile. I just wanted to be mad. Listening to reason seemed... unreasonable.

When I finally had a moment to take pause, my heart quickly remembered that this is the man that I love so dearly. This is the man I am committed to spending the rest of my life with. I love him. In that moment, while he may have seemed to me undeserving, I decided to let my guard down and love him anyway. I have learned that we will both make mistakes and hurt one another, but how you respond makes all the difference in a fight.
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant, it does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4
Whenever I compare my heart to this verse, I am always reminded how short I fall, and how incredible God's love for us is every day, even when we fail. When Jon stepped away to cool down and pray, I surrendered my heart and decided to bless him. The act of blessing your spouse during the times you would prefer to shake them and say nasty things is not easy. However, it does humble you and increase your love for them. It is easy to be angry. It is difficult to forgive and love. But my heart needed it as much as his. Instead of letting bitterness take root, I went into the kitchen and made him heart-shaped strawberry cream cheese hand-pies. Plus, rolling out dough is a good way to calm down. Since I didn't actually take a picture, I found one online to give you the idea of what they looked like.

Strawberry Cream Cheese Hand Pies
Now I'm not saying that making desserts instead of talking things out is the way to go. We did talk and come to reconcile. But I did this as a way of showing him love when he felt unloved and dishonored, and it allowed me to cool down and remember why I love him. Being the day before Valentine's Day, I wanted even more desperately for him to know that I love him every day, and not just on holidays or when things are easy and going well. I love him even on our worst days, even when we fight dirty.

Fighting is never fun, but I am glad that we were able to learn from it and still love one another more deeply afterwards. It made me realize that Valentine's Day, while usually a cheesy holiday, can be great for reflecting on your love and recommitting your heart, mind, and emotions to each other.

On Valentine's day, we had our usual busycrazyhectic day. Yet I still made time to make some chocolate chip cookies for husband to come home to after school. Then to end the day, we snuggled up with blankets on couch cushions on the floor to watch my favorite movie, AmeliƩ.

Honestly, it was my favorite Valentine's Day so far. It was so good to remember why I love him in the context of seeing how precious love really is. It made the day that much sweeter. C'est parfait!

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